I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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