I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize