i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
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he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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