If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
