how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
There are leaves in my underwear?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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