my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
