we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
