I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
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