I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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