Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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