No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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