sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
not ubering you a puppy
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
