Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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