Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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