who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
