Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
