Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
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I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
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I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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