dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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