Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
