We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
