Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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