North Korea, Best Korea!
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
True strength comes from lack of pants
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
