i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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