Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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