he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
