I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
