i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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