Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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