Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
kristin has been a bad kristin
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize