Whod you bang
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
