I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
