6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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