We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
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