The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I love you.
Bad choice
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
