I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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