hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
