If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
