I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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