I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize