we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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