I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
