Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
