What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
