Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
