Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
tequila makes me forget i have legs
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize