one two three fourrrrnication!
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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