when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
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Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
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I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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