I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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