I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
