He is such a slut. More and more my type.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
if i died would you start the facebook group?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
