morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize