My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
