I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
