ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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