Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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