You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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