so explain again why im purple
no
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
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Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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