the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
