its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize