Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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