I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
