forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
